Captain Picard goes on vacation and endures some of the worst costuming in the history of television. Seriously, how are you supposed to exude authority in this?
Picard gets kidnapped and put on the set of Cube. Man, that’s a really good movie. You should go watch that instead.
Klingon politics are seriously, hard core messed up. Like, “Keep the Government Out of My Medicare” messed up. Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin messed up.
To keep the Empire from crumbling, Worf agrees to be shunned and stripped of his honor. He just wants to go back to his quarters, drink a bottle of prune juice, and cry.
Data builds a daughter! She is awesome, and they bond as a parent/child relationship, so of course some asshole from Star Fleet thinks the best thing ever would be to separate them and study Lal somewhere far away from Data. Admiral Haftel is insistent, and this drives Lal to emotion – she is petrified. Without the circuitry to correctly process it, she goes catatonic, and Admiral Haftel attempts to help Data to repair the damage.
“She… she won’t survive much longer. There was nothing anyone could have done. We’d repolarize one pathway and another would collapse. And then another. His… hands were moving faster than I could see, trying to stay ahead of each breakdown. He refused to give up. He was remarkable. Just… wasn’t meant to be.”
IT WASN’T MEANT TO BE BECAUSE YOU LITERALLY SCARED HER TO DEATH, YOU FAT FUCK. YOU KILLED HER. YOU.
Tasha Yar is brought back so she can die a better death. Picard spends the entire episode telling everyone that they have to be super careful not to alter the past and then alters the past by sending Tasha back in time.
The only thing I liked in this episode is that Guinan introduces Worf to prune juice.
Commander Hot Pants is in trouble. While on an away mission to inspect a scientific project, the entire station goes boom, and it’s all due to Riker hitting on the scientist’s wife, or the scientist’s wife hitting on Riker. A quasi trial ensues using re-creations on the holodeck, and Riker’s pants parts are found Guilty of Being Unable to Sit Down in a Chair Like a Normal Human Being.
Q has actually, really, honestly, seriously this time, you guys, been kicked out of the Continuum. He’s mortal and has no powers and wants to be a member of the Enterprise and there’s the point of the title right there.
I really wish this episode had ended like 10 minutes in when Q asks “What must I do to convince you people?” and Worf very dryly and quickly says “Die.”
Wherein the crew of the Enterprise explains to all of us why terrorism is bad. The only interesting thing about this episode is the trivia that it was banned in the UK because of the tumult in Ireland at the time.
James Cromwell has a mustache!
A prisoner escapes from a planet we’re visiting. He’s not a prisoner so much as a genetically modified super soldier engineered to fight wars for the bourgeoisie who then discard him and his kind on a planet to fend for themselves. You know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you enhance to be the Predator.
A Romulan logistics officer seeks asylum on the Enterprise. He once played in a barber shop quartet in Skokie, IL, and picked coffee beans in Guatemala.