We get a chance to see through Geordi’s visor. It’s kinda neat but I’m not sure why it’s in this episode, which will now focus on a damaged Talarian freighter and three fugitive Klingons who will, of course, “die well,” but only after teaching Worf that he’s a giant pussy.
Lieutenant Commander Remmick comes on board and raises the douche quotient by a factor of 10. Wesley fails his Star Fleet entrance exam because he is a fan favorite and can not possibly be written off the show.
The Enterprise visits a terraforming technobabble. A laser technobabble technobabble. Scientist technobabble technobabble. Technobabble.
A legendary planet shows up and steals a handful of children from the Enterprise. In my mind, I watch an alternate episode where the children NOT kidnapped wonder why they aren’t special enough.
Admiral Grandpa calls up the Enterprise Taxi Service to take him to negotiate a hostage crisis, but en route he Dorian Gray’s his way back to youth with the help of Serum McGuffin.
Riker falls in love with a hologram. Wesley is in charge of the bridge. The Binars take the Enterprise on a joy ride. Absolutely no one plays any of this for laughs.
Seeking the survivors of a freighter accident, the Enterprise sends Commander Horny Pants, Troi, and Tasha to a matriarchal planet. Riker’s up all night for good fun, but the survivors are outlaws because they spoke up about how men are discriminated against and get no respect! God, these Men’s Rights Activists are everywhere.
Does Data Dream of Electric Sheep? Maybe not, but when he returns to his home world he does a terrific impression of Counselor Troi with his vague sense of the memories of others. As they attempt to figure out what happened to the colonists of this world – which apparently no one bothered to look in to 26 years ago when they found Data – they discover his brother, a giant snowflake, and the true meaning “shut up, Wesley.”
Picard, Data, and Dr. Crusher are trapped in a holodeck program, and not a sexy fun times program like Riker would get stranded in – no, they are stranded in a 1940’s PI story where they get shot at. Luckily, they brought a red shirt.
Deanna Troi has an arranged marriage. Awesome. It’s the 24th century and we still have arranged marriages. So glad that custom stuck around. Luckily, the man she is intended for would rather spend the rest of his life on a plague ship than marry her, so she’s dodged that bullet.